Sunday, January 4, 2015

Stonehell Risen!

It's been a long time since I last ran Stonehell, but on December 21st the party finally returned to those night-haunted halls. Back in 2012, I was a bit lackadaisical about campaign reports, so I might have missed a couple at the end. The following, played more than two years(!) after the last report, is probably session eleven or twelve of the campaign.

Our dramatis personae include party leader Slim Charles, the Conjurer; Pope Leo, the Village Priest; and Balian, the Swordsman. Joining them are henchmen Derric, Gilgrim, Nartan, and Colwin.

The party searched several stone-doored crypts on the first level of Stonehell. Pope Leo succeeded in turning a ghoul, and found a concealed coffer containing a large amount of silver, some jewelry, and a couple of blueberry-colored potions of salty taste.

The party descended to the second level of Stonehell. They delivered there in tribute the erotic tapestry promised to the intelligent apes as tribute. In thanks, the apes warned them (Slim Charles speaks Ape) that the faerie ring in the theater to the southeast leads to a strange area with great risk and great reward, and that the duplicitous faeries had already charmed a member of their party.

To the south, the party found a large room with several collapsed columns. After defeating the giant spiders lurking in the darkness of the high vaulted ceiling, the party discovered its first major magic item: boots of levitation.

This was a short session, but a good start to our new, resurrected Stonehell campaign.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Robot Lovecraft writes technical documentation

Somebody fed Puppet documentation and H.P. Lovecraft stories into a Markov chain generator to produce The Doom that Came to Puppet. This particular type of nonsense really tickles my fancy.

“Parameters are defined essentially exactly the same way since a surprisingly early time in earth’s history—perhaps over fifty million years.”
“Additionally, the machine(s) acting as reverse proxy (usually 127.0.0.0/8) will need to be able to reach the basement out of which the abyssward aperture opened.”
“During the Jurassic Age the Old Ones had perhaps become satisfied with their decadent art—or had ceased to recognize the superior merit of the older (activerecord) backends in a multi-master environment.”
“Puppet can also be used to demonstrate things here, but it is not wholesome to watch monstrous objects doing what one had known only human beings to do”

Thursday, December 4, 2014

New LotFP releases, including Zak's Red & Pleasant Land

The Lamentations of the Flame Princess store has new books available, including Zak S.'s Red & Pleasant Land. I hear it's selling quickly, so you should order soon if want one. I found that the now-diffucult-to-find Vornheim was much better in hard copy than PDF (and I like PDF's), and R&PL looks super-deluxe.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Bells

Until the middle of the sixteenth century, English church bells, like other European bells, had a variety of uses: some sacred, some secular, and many that were both. Bells called congregations to church, and told them to flee if there was a fire; they rang to signal a death in the parish, and they rang to help the passage of the souls of the dead through purgatory. Other bells, or other ways of ringing the same bells, commanded people to say a particular prayer. Bells were incredibly well-loved by their parishes and were often baptized and given godparents; their individual tones were voices that spoke to the communities over which they rang. They were among the loudest sounds in the soundscape, making up a language that its parishioners could understand.

In the Injunctions issued by the ten-year-old king Edward VI in 1547, these many and varied uses for bells were drastically reduced. Only one bell was now allowed “in convenient time to be rung or knelled before the sermon.”2 Bells were so useful that a single one was still to be used to call the godly to church, but in this new post-Reformation England, their other uses were no longer officially approved. The dead didn’t need help through purgatory, because it no longer existed; there was no need to command anyone to say popish prayers such as the Ave Maria by ringing the Angelus bell, because these prayers were now deemed useless. But parishioners had such affection for church bells that this particular injunction was never seriously enforced. They went to great lengths to keep their bells, sometimes by burying them until the zealous storm had passed.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Blobogix

Blobogix the Invasive Alien Impostor God

Only a couple of players showed up for this Sunday's game, so we tried an idea I've been considering for a while. Each of us took a half hour to write an adventure with d6 rooms, then we ran each adventure.

In the adventure I wrote, an invasive alien displaced a local god and enslaved the priests at the shrine. This is a common problem on planet Zerapis. The players managed to free most of the priests from Blobogix's mind control (minus one or two they shot full of arrows), saved several villagers scheduled for human sacrifice, and acquired a powerful but unwieldy ray gun that freezes people by sending their minds to a barren alien world. Unfortunately, they made a dangerous enemy by letting Blobogix escape with his enormous pulsating egg.

As a player, I found that I've become more conservative and risk averse; I'll take a modest treasure and leave the dungeon without pulling the tantalizing but obviously dangerous shiny lever. Especially when the adventures are so small, I feel bad about it — like I should play with all the things.

Maybe I just need some fresh blood in my face-to-face group. It's hard to get a small set of busy adults in the same room on a regular basis.

Saturday, August 9, 2014

Gruesome Chops for OD&D Fighting-Men

I haven't had a regular game in a few months, but that hasn't stopped me from tinkering with my house rules. This is an attempt to give 0e fighting-men a bit more oomph. What do you think?

Gruesome Chops

A roll of 20 to-hit or a roll of maximum damage gives the Fighting-Man the opportunity to make a Gruesome Chop. The player chooses the hit location; here are some examples:

  1. Eyeball run through. Monsters with hit dice fewer than or equal to the fighting-man must Save or be kebab'd. Monsters with more hit dice lose an eye* (-2 to hit, cyclops -4).
  2. Neck slit. Monsters with hit dice fewer than or equal to the fighting-man must Save or suffer beheading. Monsters with more hit dice loose their voices, and must Save when using a breath weapon.
  3. Limb chop. Monsters with hit dice fewer than or equal to the fighting-man must Save or be dismembered and bleed out. Monsters with more hit dice (and four or fewer legs) are reduced to zero movement.
  4. Bifurcation (horizontal or vertical). Monsters with hit dice fewer than or equal to the fighting-man must Save or be bisected.
  5. Evisceration. Monsters with hit dice fewer than or equal to the fighting-man must Save or spill their guts.
  6. Ribcage crush. Monsters with hit dice fewer than or equal to the fighting-man must Save or suffocate.
  7. Sever artery. Monsters with hit dice fewer than or equal to the fighting-man must Save or BLOOD SPRINKLER!
  8. Break the monster's sword, splinter its shield, sunder its sandals, etc.
  9. Force the monster to fall back ten or twenty feet to the spot you want them (over pit trap, under portcullis, etc.).
  10. Impale. Monsters with hit dice fewer than or equal to the fighting-man must Save or wriggle in grotesque death throes. Monsters with more hit dice are pinned (movement zero).

Any monster that survives a Gruesome Chop immediately checks morale.

N.B. — Most monsters do not make Gruesome Chops, but enemy Fighting-Men do.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

Death in the Iliad

Check out this excellent group of infographics on death in the Iliad. I've long maintained that spears need a more prominent place in D&D.